Geoffrey would win.
Who cares if he hasn’t held a gun before or frequented knife fights? His memorable one-liners from time with the Banks family warmed my 90s era heart. He schooled them in life and common sense. If Geoffrey were around in Westeros, Joffrey would not grow up half as spoiled as he is. Geoffrey wouldn’t even need to slap him, he’d just insult him all the time. He’s like who Robert Baratheon should have been to Joffrey. Robert Baratheon on steroids.
Still don’t think Geoffrey is up to the task? It’s true that Joffrey is so temperamental that he might have our favorite butler beheaded, but Joffrey is also easily manipulated, before and after he turned into an insane monster. Geoffrey would have Joffrey going around in so many circles that Joffrey wouldn’t know what to do with himself. It would be the verbal equivalent to this:
Geoffrey would do the following every time Joffrey gets into one his “I’m the king” moments and thinks he has everything under control.
Let’s face it, Uncle Phil was almost as bad as Joffrey, but in terms of food. You could also argue that Joffrey already has a Geoffrey in terns of Tyrion, but that’s no fun. What we clearly need is a servant figure, who is willing to take a lot of crap
…only to secretly plot revenge in pointed but subtle ways.
Because the following face begs to be smacked all the time, and needs to be put in its place way more often than it is.